Go Where SOMEBODY Knows Your Name...(a breakfast at 3Dogz)

When the phone rings at 4:30 in the morning... and it's not bad news...and it means you're awake...it means you get up. And when it's 5:30, you wonder... "What's open?"

So you pack up your laptop, your grocery list and your wifi and you get rolling, because it's 3.5 hr before you're expected "at work." Where do you go? You go where SOMEBODY knows your name. In this case, I went to Three Dogz Diner. I figured, hey, I can enjoy a great breakfast and write and think.

3Dogz...in its closed state

Sheila Bonfiglio

But I got to Three Dogz and realized...they don't open at 6...they open at 6:30. But hey, the door's open. I walk in and ask Sheila..."Can I sit and work while I wait?"

"Sure." ("Wait for what?"  Breakfast, says I.)---

So, now ensconced at my favorite table (though I rarely get to eat in here...always pushing the envelope on 9am and usually picking up a piece of quiche to go). While not a stellar view, it's still a view that means something to me. My river, my falls, my city. Hate it. Love it. Lawrence is still home.

                                               So what's driven me to write today. Lots.

3 Dogz in it's OPEN state!

Yesterday I sent out our annual 4th of July e-card...something I enjoy doing. Yeah, some don't feel it's as personal...as thoughtful... as going to the store and picking out a Hallmark and mailing it. But I do spend time choosing and writing...and sending...and I love knowing that many of those I send them to find them delightful. (You decide.)--Anyway. Got a lovely reply back from an old (well, not really "old" but former) colleague...perhaps I could even call him a friend (of sorts)...who moved on to another company (much to my dismay) a few years back...and who I still miss working for and with. This gentleman is perhaps the most intelligent, personable, funny, educated person I've ever met (next to my husband of course!). His learning and wisdom about the science of cognitive research and learning and practice are "sit at his feet and listen" kind of quality. And for all his brilliance, he never made you feel like you were "less than smart" or "less useful" or "less than" him. (Don't think I'll ever have that feeling again at work.) (Sorry...enjoying Eggs Benedict here)

I know a few of the folks who read here will be interested in this, so wanted to make the connection for them.

This blast from the past fit perfectly with my view of the river. Time flows on. And in this link to his blog you hear about struggle and time and work. Enjoy. Sub to his blog...I have. He tells stories that I have heard him tell...often...and never tired of hearing. He makes points that are imperative to learning.

(Snippet of conversation overheard at the next booth... "We always learned more when our Mom took us OUT of school than we ever learned IN school." Yep. We know that. Don't we? Yep! We do!)

Ben, Celebrating National Wear an Apron 

as a Cape Day!

So, what else. The youngest did something that I knew he would eventually. He turned...gasp...13...this month. He's taller and older and smarter and he did something that only HE could do. He gave me a house of ONLY teens. He's a sharp cookie. And he has a sense of humor that our friend Paul called "Hambone"...ALL over! He'll make our last years with kids at home fun. When he turned 13, I did the mental subtraction. 5 years until our youngest is 18. 5 years that we need to make count...for him and the other 2 that are still home. One  has 1 more year of High School left...and son #2  has 2 years.

As I watch my younger colleagues with little children throw themselves into work and give it place #1 in their priorities, I worry for them. They can't get these years back. It seems like there's this greater drive to climb that ladder...and I think of their little ones. The ladder will be there after the kids are not. Priorities. Work needs to rank about #5 on the list. Placing it higher is a mistake. Honestly.

Oh My Gosh!

It may seem like a survival imperative, but that needs to be (Oh my gosh. Sheila just brought me a cold Strawberry Soup to try. Wow, mmmmmm! Amazing!) tempered with what is important. As they get older, they need you less in the nitty gritty and more in the big picture...but while the nitty gritty exists, it needs to come first. Really.

And finally, and CERTAINLY not least today...I leave my booth at Three Dogz to do a few groceries before work...because we'll have an Army of folks in our backyard on Saturday...because, God willing, our Soldier will be with us for 48 hours this weekend! (I'm excited, but trying not to get too excited...it is the Army after all. You never know. -Right, Katie?) He hasn't been home in 6 months, so we'll be packing as much as we can into 2 days.--- Cookout with friends. Church. Steak. Fireworks. Hugs...and seeing all 4 of my kids in one place again. Blessings abound! So...on with the day! :) More to come. Pictures certainly!

Happy 4th of July, folks! Remember what we're celebrating this weekend. Far more than cookouts and fireworks and an extra day off.

Thanks for keeping me company during breakfast at 3 Dogz.
(And thanks, Sheila and George for letting me come in a little early! It was kinda special to go somewhere where someone DOES know my name.)

Books for the Summer!

It's time to get books into the hands of your kids! Today! Right this minute!

K12 has just begun the K12 Week Summer Reading Challenge...and even if you're not part of K12 and not interested in THIS challenge, this is the time to challenge yourself and your kids to get reading!

Hit the library!  Hit the bookstores!
                 Hit Amazon! Hit the used bookstores!
                                   Hit the yard sales! Swap books with friends!
                                                   Books don't have to cost much or even at all!

Here's a great link to 10 Tips to Choosing Books for Children of All Ages from Common Sense Media.

Get Rolling! I've got my first book done! Caleb's Crossing... good read! What's yours? What are your kids reading! Lisa finished The Great Divorce. Sam is working on the Pickwick Papers...and Ben on Watership Down.
Post what you and your kids are reading so that everyone can share ideas.
The very best way to get your kids reading is for them to see you reading. Don't hesitate to read everywhere you can, as much as you can, in as many formats as you can. You are the very best role model for your kids, and it doesn't matter how young or old they are. They need to see you reading. So...hop to it~! And who knows, the kids might enjoy it...right along with you!

Post away!

Taming the Mindset

I hope that someday I get to meet Carol Dweck so that I can thank her. Her research and writing has probably made the greatest impact on my home-educating-professional-learning knowledge. More than my undergraduate degree in Elementary/Special Education...more than my graduate studies...more than my 10 years in the classroom. If I had known, 20 years ago, what she's been talking about for the last 8, things would probably have been a bit different. Frankly, what her research has turned up is nothing short of educationally earth shaking!

And now her stuff keeps coming to the surface, like in this Education Week  article by Alina Tugend, author of   Better by Mistake: The Unexpected Benefits of Being Wrong  . 

A key piece of Dr. Dweck's work is summarized in this:

Here’s a fascinating experiment that shows how children absorb what we say about effort vs. results. Carol Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, has conducted groundbreaking research in this area. One of her experiments asked 400 5th graders in New York City schools to take an easy short test, on which almost all performed well. Half the children were praised for “being really smart.” The other half were complimented for “having worked really hard.”
Then the students were asked to take a second test and given the option of either choosing one that was pretty simple and that they would do well on, or one that was more challenging, but on which they might make mistakes.
Of those students praised for effort, 90 percent chose the harder test. Of those praised for being smart, the majority chose the easy test.

                      ....

One way we can do this is by understanding the concepts of “fixed mind-sets” and “growth mind-sets.” Those with fixed mind-sets, as Professor Dweck says, believe either we’re good at something—whether it’s math or music or baseball—or we’re not. When we have this fixed mind-set, mistakes serve no purpose but to highlight failure.

Those with what Professor Dweck calls growth mind-sets, who believe that some people are better or worse in certain areas, but we can all improve and develop our skills and abilities, are much more likely to be able to accept mistakes because they know that they’re part of learning.
And it’s been shown that when students are taught about growth mind-sets, their motivation to learn improves.

What a mind shift! It's not about talent, it's not about success or failure. Son of a Gun! It's about persistence and learning!  It's about believing that hard work will get you somewhere...and then continuing to try hard.  I've tried to explain that to one of my kids, but that just doesn't seem to compute.

Is it because it's easier to believe in "I can't do that as well as she, because she is more talented," than it is to believe "She may master things sooner, but if I persist, fail...and continue to try...I can probably get it too"?

Is it perhaps unpleasant to understand that some have to work harder in order to attain the same things? Does that make us "unequal" and in a nation of  "one size fits all" education and practice?

Is it because trying and failing means that I'm less intelligent, so why try?

Is it easier to give up trying than to work at it and discover the possibilities?

Motivation.

What's your motivation? What is your kid's motivation? Should they do it for a grade or should they do it because by stretching they discover the possibilities? What are we telling them by asking them to work for grades?

Tugend gets right to the heart of it. And I will be the first to tell you that I am as guilty as the rest. I'm a Momma-Bear...yesterday, today and always...but here it is:

Of course, much of this onus to shift the way we look at and react to mistakes falls on parents. We have to be willing to let our children struggle and fail and make mistakes without always rushing in to protect them or fix the problem.

Wrong answers are ok...when you use them to grow and stretch and learn. It's so hard though to not desire that our kids succeed above all else. It's so difficult to watch our kids struggle. Some of you know that today this message is very  hard for me...but I've restrained myself.  Perhaps the Momma-Bear can find a grumble that says, "I want you to succeed, but failure has its benefits and reward too. It's fine." Can I want both? Perhaps.

Dweck is on my Kindle. I'm betting that Tegund joins her soon.

Look, Link and Learn! The Nina and the Pinta

Columbus Would Be Proud.

My friend, Connie, sent this link to a newspaper article about a visit to Kittery, ME from the Nina and the Pinta.  (Quick! What was the third ship? BINGO! Santa Maria! But, no, it's not coming to port.) It got me thinking about another field trip, of course, but also digging into links is another of my favorite things to do. You never know what cool stuff you'll find to share with the kids.



The Columbus Foundation is committed to building, sailing and showing these floating museums all over the world and they are doing a great job doing it! According to their website, the best reasons for visiting them while in port are:

  To see a near perfect example of a type of sailing ship-the caravel- of such clean, sculptured, honest design that it was produced for upwards of 125 years. with its Scandinavian style bow and midsection and its combination square and lateen rigging it was probably the best open water sailing vessel of its time- that pivotal time referred to as the ' Great Age of Discovery'.

  To, in some small way, enter that age, to perhaps get a feeling for Columbus himself, that enigmatic and flawed human being, who, admire or despise him, is one of perhaps only three individuals in all of our long past who, by themselves, for good or ill, personally altered the course of Western history.

  To stand on the sloping deck of the Niña, as true a replica as will probably ever be built. It was Columbus' favorite ship, the one he very nearly died on in 1493, upon which he ultimately logged more than 25,000 miles.

WAY cool! I'm ready to check it out in June in Kittery. (and as usual, I'll have to drag 1 of the 3 kids along. He'll have a good time anyway, but he's at that age. You KNOW what I mean!) In the mean time though, even if you're nowhere near New England or the Seacoast area, you can check this great video from the City of Debuque that shows more about the ships and their trip up the Mississippi. I'm betting Columbus would have been amazed had he been able to do that! 
So. Thanks, Connie and keep those neat links coming!


Remember, check it out with your kiddos...and remember, Look and the sites First, then, with the kids, Link & Learn!


(Hope to hear from some others that might get up to Kittery to see the ships!)